Strength TogetHER 17- Session 7

February 12,2022.

On 12th February, 2022 we conducted an online session on the topic, “A time I felt sad” partnering with the ZONTA Club of Kathmandu. Zonta club is a legally registered NGO that has been working on the advancement of the status of women with the objective to improve the economy, education, health and issues related to youth and violence against women. 

Our moderator for the session was Miss. Rosy Karna, who is currently pursuing her doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology at the PGSP Stanford Psy.D. Consortium Program. As an aspiring clinical psychologist, her long term goal is to utilize her clinical knowledge and experience to establish a better mental health care system in Nepal. 

We started our session with the first participant's story. She shared that when she joined Forestry, she didn’t like being in the class. But, later she attended the classes and started liking it. She made a lot of friends and was enjoying the classes when her friends stopped talking to her. She felt sad about it as she didn’t know the reason behind it. She later realized that people only talk when they have something to gain from the other person. 

“I have had a best friend since class 1. We studied together from grade 1 till 10. After completing grade 10, my best friend decided to go to India where her family resided  for further studies. I was sad to think about being without my best friend. We spent a night out at her house, then dropped her at the bus stop along with other friends the next day. We cried a lot. I remember the bus driver scolding us saying that we shouldn’t cry. That was a sad moment for me”, shared our other participant. She added that her friend is studying Hotel Management and they communicate regularly. 

“I was sent to a new school in town by my parents. I was sad  as I didn’t have any friends at the new school”, shared our other participant. 

Another participant shares that she was a track runner. When she was studying in grade 8 or 9 she wanted to play football but her coach had suggested otherwise. She remembers other teachers being supportive of her interest to play football as they knew she was good at it. She started getting better at it, but unfortunately she broke her hand in one of the matches. She got extremely sad as she couldn’t do both the sports she loved. She shared that she now studies well, and stopped playing sports. 

Our moderator added that it hurts to not be able to fulfill the dreams which we have always dreamed of, but she is hopeful that our participant will find something she loves doing in the future. She also mentioned that we don’t normally talk about mental well being in Nepal. We don’t have the language or the words to casually talk about mental well being. Humans have different emotions and it’s only natural for us to feel it. So, it’s okay to be sad at times, but suggested we should not dwell on it for a long time. 

President elect Mrs. Ava Shah Zonta Club also shared that her dream was to be a doctor from childhood but couldn’t be one. She was sad about it. But, as she thinks back now she is glad and realizes that it must have been for a reason. She is happy with her life now and takes pride in what she does. She added that only we have the power to change our lives and with motivation we can always be better. 

Our other participants shared, she remembers being extremely sad when she was staying at Hostel in Kathmandu. Her parents passed away in an accident when she was 4 years old. Every weekend when she saw her friends' parents visiting them and going out she wished to do the same. But, couldn’t so she was sad. She shared that she now knows it was not anyone’s mistake for the unfateful accident, and when she faces problems now, she remembers those times and realizes that since she could go through such events she can overcome anything. She says that it has shaped her into being a resilient person.

Another participant shared that her father once got drunk, and quarreled with her brother. She wanted to resolve the argument and tried stopping them, but her brother scolded her instead. She felt sad about it and recalls that both her father and brother were upset with her. 

“My friend was forced to get married when she was 16 by her family. She has a daughter now. Despite many attempts and efforts to convince her family to not marry her, she was married off. I was sad as I couldn’t help her. We talk right now, and have conversations about how life has been different to us”, shared our other participant.

After listening to all the stories, our moderator shared her story as well. She shared that most of her family and relatives come from a medical background. So she had always wanted to be a doctor as well. She spent her childhood mostly in the pharmacy, and always looked forward to being a doctor. It was her only goal in life. She had applied for a University abroad but withdrew the application as most people around her suggested to complete her medical study in Nepal.  When time came and she took her initial medical school admission exams in Nepal, she was rejected, not once, not twice or even thrice but a total of 15 times. She shared that the repeated rejections took a toll on her both physically and mentally. The thought of exams scared her, and she got depressed. This must have been the lowest I have been in my life, she adds. She had lost all her hope until she was accepted into a university in Bangladesh. She had applied there without much thought, and with a simple reference to a brochure her friend provided. She shared that this filled her with new hope. She rebooted and started her journey from Bangladesh, and is thankful and proud of where she is now.

Lastly, we ended the session noting the extreme importance of self motivation and optimistic attitude.